Friday, October 10th - Well this ain't so bad

Believe it or not, I’m a freaking genius. Since getting Josie on the bottle, we’ve found ourselves settling into a bit of a routine. That in turn has allowed a bit of normalcy to return back into our lives. Everyone is happier, less tense, and more able to enjoy the time we’re spending with each other.

We had an appointment with the lactation consultant back at the hospital today and I went over with her everything that’s been happening since being discharged from the hospital. I told her about our struggles with breast feeding and that we broke down and gave her formula in a bottle. It was reassuring to hear from her that I was not a complete idiot for doing so and that in fact supplementing formula along with breast milk (pumped or naturally expressed) is perfectly fine. The main goal at this stage of her life is that she thrives.

So today we had the opportunity to kick back a bit and relax. Everything has been so hectic for quite some time that it was nice to be able to just sit around and lounge a little. Aside from our appointment earlier in the morning, our day mostly consisted of changing diapers, feeding, burping, and napping. Josie’s able to go a little over 2 hrs between feedings, which when you’re having a lazy day, is just about enough time to get nothing significant done. I was fine with that even though our house looked like a baby had just moved in and all mommie and daddie have had time to do is to feed and change her … oh wait.

Brent, Kelly and the kids (Cole & Caleigh) stopped by after dinner and the kids got to see the baby for the first time. It invoked an almost surreal feeling seeing each of them hold little Josie in their arms. I couldn’t help but to think of how quickly they’ve grown, and they’re not even my own! After all, it wasn’t that long ago when they were just tiny tots themselves. I guess it just makes it that much more evident that we need to cherish all the time we have with little Josie right now, as we’ll certainly look back one day to this part of her life and wonder how it had pass us by so quickly.

Off to see the doctor


Cole and baby Josie


Catching a few Zzzz's

Thursday, October 9th - Out comes the bottle

Hello everyone! So Josie's first night at home turned out to be quite an exhausting one. Breastfeeding didn't go exactly as planned, but then again I had a feeling that was going to happen. For whatever reason, it all seemed to have worked better when we were still in the hospital. The entire night was centered around feeding. The hardest part is getting Josie to latch on. As you can imagine, it's a very tiring process for both sides.

She's hungry and all she wants to do is eat. Unfortunately, it's not natural for her (yet) and she struggles to lay still and latch on. Sometimes it's obvious she's not comfortable and we have to reposition her and try again. Other times it looks like she’s finally got it but we get nothing more than a few sucks and she'll push away. This goes on for 20-30 minutes at a time. Once she finally latches on though, she tends to fall asleep. And understandably so. She just spent all her energy trying to get going, and now she is worn out. Then we have to try to wake her up, and that in itself is a real fun game to play. She's just like her daddie and anything short of a bomb going off right next to her ear isn't going to get that girl awake.

That's not to say we haven't had our fair share of successful feedings either. However, after carefully monitoring all the feedings I came to the conclusion that she simply wasn't getting enough. One of the major contributing factors to our sleepless nights was that she needed fed often. Also, during the feedings, I noticed quite a bit of sucking but not a whole lot of swallowing. Given all that was going on I finally put it all together and figured out that when she was latched, she wasn't getting the amount she needed. She'd go for as long as she could before she'd tire herself out and fall asleep. She wouldn't stay sleeping very long though because she'd wake up hungry. And then it would start all over again.

So at around 4 AM during what felt like our 10th feeding of the night, I finally suggested to Jen that we should bust out the bottles and give her some formula. Now after taking the breastfeeding class and talking to all the pro-breast-milk nurses and doctors, we were a bit hesitant to introduce formula into the equation. But we needed Josie to eat and sleep, so that we could sleep. Lo and behold, giving her that bottle of formula ended up knocking her out for a good 3-4 hrs. She was happy and full and we finally got in a good (albeit brief) nights rest for the first time since she arrived.

On some level I still feel a tiny bit guilty going the formula route since we were adamant about sticking to an all breast milk diet. But things don't always work out as planned and we needed to adjust accordingly. Josie was 3.5 weeks early, so her feeding ability isn't where it should be compared to a fully termed baby. Also, Jen’s milk supply hasn't fully come in yet (and isn't likely to anytime soon) so that doesn’t help. We've been told that this is a common problem for parents with preemies but that it usually gets better as the weeks go by. We just need to let it happen naturally as opposed to repeatedly forcing the issue.

I'm pretty sure this is the way to go for now ... look how happy she is!

Wednesday, October 8th - Running on fumes, but we're finally home

Last night turned out to be another relatively sleepless night. Josie had her fair share of meltdowns, but Jen and I managed to hold ourselves together. I can't speak for mommy, but I quickly came to realize that a crying baby can make me feel like the most useless person in the world. When it's 3 in the morning and she's screaming her lungs off even after you've checked and rechecked anything and everything you can possibly think of, it can create such an empty void inside. The sense of detachment is unreal. But as always, patience and love pays off. Once you track down what's really causing her to be upset, you simply file that away under "experience." There's nothing worse than a crying baby that won't stop, but there's nothing better than being able to stop that crying baby, and calm her down. Believe it or not, it's very rewarding.

As morning drew near, I managed to sneak in about 2 hrs of shut eye. Josie and mommy have been nursing on and off pretty much the entire night, and I definitely have to give credit where credit is due. Keep in mind that prior to Josie's arrival, Jen's already had her fair share of virtually sleepless nights. The combination of medication in her system, wooden slats of a labor bed, and general pregnancy related discomforts have really taken a toll on her physically and mentally. She got a slight break after delivery, but the R&R time had been minimal. This would be the 4th day since being admitted to the hospital, and even after all this, I couldn't believe how much more she had in her to give to our little one.

Sometime during the night, Josie and mommy got their final checkup and were given the go ahead for discharge. We were finally ready to go home. After a few more rounds of feeding, packing and loading up, and checking in with what seemed like to have been an endless string of nurses and doctors, we made it out of there at around 12:30 pm.

Once home it was more of the same; constant nursing. At some point, mommy and daddy snuck in some lunch, a shower, and a nap. The rest was again, a blur. Grandma and Grandpa Shue stopped over later in the evening with some more new outfits and to spend some time with Josie.

We want to thank everyone who's sent some sort of congratulations our way. The flowers are beautiful, the phone calls were entertaining, and the gifts were put right to use. Your thoughts and gestures mean the world to us and it's wonderful to know that there are so many people out there that care and love us.

So that was pretty much day 3. Believe it or not I didn't get too many pictures of anything. We had so much to do and I didn't get around to unpacking the camera and gear. But that's not to say I didn't get any pictures. As usual, enjoy ...

Tuesday, October 7th - Barely a day old

Last night was full of commotion. Between breastfeeding, checking her vitals, and running her to and from the baby toaster, it seemed like none of us got very much sleep at all. In actuality ... none of us got very much sleep at all.

For me, today was much more of a blur than yesterday was. I think it was because we were more on our own. No longer did were we on a semi-predeterminded schedule of admistering medication every 12 hrs, doctors checking in every 2, etc. We had to do what came natural; and we had to do it by ourselves.

Despite having only had 3 hours of sleep the night before, I think I held up fairly well. The day began with yet another feeding marathon. Now that she's been out for some time, she's starting to develop quite an appetite.

Breastfeeding is truly an art. Even though I had absolutely zero knowledge on the topic of breastfeeding prior to attending our class a few weeks ago, I'm confident to say that I now have a pretty through understanding of it all. It's not easy for any baby, not to mention with preemies. It takes time, patience, and energy. Lots of energy. Lots of energy that neither mommie or daddie have much of. Fortunately, our little one is doing quite well in this area. She just needs a bit of convincing every now and then. Like I've been telling Jen this whole time; for me, it's terribly frustrating when it doesn't work and all I want to do is blow my brains out. But it's one of the best feelings in the world when it does. It totally makes it worth the struggle.

Aside from feeding, we had a good group of visitors. They got to see a cleaner, sleepier, more relaxed side of Josie, compared to the day before. Greatnan made her first appearance; she's been so anxious to meet the little one and she definitely got in her fair share of bonding time. Also, Grandma Shue went out and got Josie some new attire. Due to her size, virtually nothing that we've bought or have been gifted will fit her at this point. I hope she doesn't expect me to go out and buy her new clothes like this when she's 16!

All cleaned up with no place to go


With Greatnan


That's about all I can remember for now, so I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking.

Monday, October 6th - Welcome Josie Kaye!

Well, after what seemed to have been forever ago since we first set foot here at the hospital early Saturday morning, our beautiful baby girl finally graced us with her prescence at 7:18 pm. Weighing in at 4lbs 14oz, Josie Kaye is certainly a bit on the small side. However, she is ever so alert. Shortly after her arrival, we heard her first cries. Then her eyes opened and she began to assess the new and unfamiliar environment. She settled down quickly and seemed content and well situated until her first ever exam started. Once all the poking and prodding began, the cries quickly resumed.



The initial exam showed that her body temperature was a smidge on the lower end. According to the nurse, preemie babies usually have trouble regulating body temperature on their own. However, her breathing seemed normal, and her blood sugar was at an acceptable level as well.

Once the exam was over, baby and mommy were reunited. We were on a tight schedule due to the fact that the nurse wanted to get Josie over to the nursery as soon as possible to get her temp up.





As a result, we got the meet and greet going right away so that we could get in the first feeding immediately afterwards. Josie got her first glimps of Grandma and Grandpa Shue, as well as Aunt Tiffy. After everyone had a chance to hold the baby and the initial photo op was over, we had to send them on their way.







Our first feeding happened a lot like how they said it would. A little bit of sucking and a lot of falling asleep. It was a lot of trial and error, but we got her to latch on a few times. It wasn't as big of a success as what I wanted, but we were hopeful.

After feeding, the nurse performed another quick exam. Even though her body temperature did go up a little, it was still not enough for us to keep her with us. So off to the nursery she went; under the baby toaster. Her blood sugar level had dropped a tad as well, so I was informed that a little bit of formula would be given to her. While I made my way over to the nursery, Jen was back in the room recovering. She finally got something to eat for the first time since early this morning. Needless to say she was estatic.



Once the baby arrived at the nursery, they began to check her out right away. She was weighed, measured, wiped, and pricked. I stayed until they finished with her and then it was back to the room to pack up. We were being transferred to the maternity ward (from labor hall.)





The room here at the maternity ward is much better. We settled in quickly and off went the first batch of emails and phone calls. I must admit I did turn the Monday night game on pretty much right away to get a quick look at the score. In fact, the first question that I asked the nursing assistant when she came in was how to get the volume to come out of the TV.

I decided to create this blog because I realized that there was no way to distribute information about what's going on with us and the baby widely and effectively to everyone via emails and phone calls. Please check back frequently as we'll try to update it as much as possible. Before I could fully create the blog though, we needed to give her a name. I had insisted prior to Josie's arrival that I would need to see her before I could decide on a name. Well she came and that didn't happen. We had a few names floating out there, but it wasn't until we said it out loud to each other that we knew we had landed on the right one.

Josie Kaye Lau


So now it's 1 am. Josie was returned to us about an hour ago, and Jen did another feeding. It went much better this time as she latched on well and stayed on longer. Since her body temperature has gone up and stabilized, we'll be keeping her with us here.

That pretty much sums it up for day 1. Sorry for such a long post but I wanted to be able to give something back to everyone who has been with us through this journey thus far. We're very fortunate to have so many friends and family that care and love us so much. Your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated.

I'm going to sign off now but I will leave you all with some pictures. I hope you all enjoy them as much as I enjoyed taking them.

Until tomorrow ...











































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